Indian women have been granted an unprecedented break–8 women-only commuter trains. Was anyone else struck by this headline news, and by “struck” I mean,… did you pause?
On these trains known as Ladies Specials, a weight has been lifted. Men are not there to do what they reportedly do onboard every day–pinch, grope, molest, threaten and shout insults at the women. Apparently, this harassment is the norm. Apparently, it was bad enough to warrant the government stepping in.
Imagine a women-only train. It might be like a big slumber party. In my world, it would manifest as a man-free subway at 4am on a Saturday night. Oooooo. How fucking freeing! What about a man-free traveling experience? I would drive across America or any wild country and push deep into the night, until I collapsed alone and sleepy in my car, a tent, or a grassy ditch on the side of the road. I’d be relaxed, watching the stars sparkle without letting my imagination roar me into at least twenty minutes of heart palpitations: A man is going to find me here and hurt me. A man is going to find me here and hurt me. (An aside: I know plenty of women who are braver than me on that front.) Though I am deeply nourished by the different men in my life, I am also convinced, after 30 short years of living, that this fear of men is inherent in all women, even those who refuse to admit it.
Why? There are so many books that attempt to pin it down, so many poems. No need to descend into the messy discussion of biology (predators, the mechanics of body parts, sowing seeds, choosing carefully for your womb and all that fraught stuff). Instead, here’s some wisdom from a man on the topic…
Barry Lopez, writer and world traveler, shared a small anecdote in his essay, “Searching for Depth in Bonaire.” He and a friend were hanging around a remote part of Bonaire’s coast, entranced by and oogling at ancient pictographs of angelfish. To his surprise, a woman approached in a rental car, lowered her window, scanned the limestone bluff and then gathered speed to drive away on the dirt road. He first assumed that she was a pathetic tourist; he judged what seemed like her indifference to the historical sight. Moments later, his heart yanked his intellect up to the surface: “I realized she was alone, that two men were standing around and that this was an unfrequented part of the island. We had closed it to her.”
Any physical space, like a train, can change dramatically based on the people who occupy it. Eradicating all men from all corners of life is not a solution to the physical power dynamics that exist between genders. But when men are banned from the trains, the woman in India no longer exhaust their own energy fighting off insults, vulgarities and groping. The segregation was created to protect the women, not ostracize them–perhaps the only example of an oppressed minority’s isolation spun in their favor.
And speaking of minorities, I once found myself in a gay bar with my gay brother and my very-straight brother. As the night galvanized my cheeky mood, I slipped up behind my very-straight brother and grabbed his butt. He, thinking I was a man, practically twisted my arm out of its socket. He hated being there; he felt, in his words, “preyed upon.”
I don’t know how to relax around these issues; I know they are layered; I know they will always be potent. But it’s remarkable to imagine a whole train of women moving down the tracks, laughing and open and knowing that even a patriarchal government heard their pleas.
Tags: Gender, harrasment, India, trains
May I remind you Molly, that you WERE in an all-female train car on a 24 hour journey from Johannesburg to Cape Town. And I apologize to all for waking the train up at 6am by bouncing in the corridor, but that is one of the things one can do in an all-female mode of transit.
Fascinating post, Molly. I’m so relieved for the Indian women who were facing a nightmare commute every day. I’ve had some less than pleasant experiences on the NYC subway at rush hour. It seems that the lack of breathing room can give some people the excuse to cross very clear lines.
Wow. How liberating for these women. We are in a post-feminist era. I have these fears and frustrations too often also. All women do. Living in a new city, I’ve been told it’s not safe to walk home after 9pm. So any chance of enjoying a cool summer night while walking from studio to home, even in a good neighborhood, isn’t possible. Too big of a risk. Anger floods me when I consciously consider what to wear on a particular day or night, depending on if I’ll be walking/travelling by myself at any point and might be in danger if I look too sexy. Loose jeans win over a knee-length skirt.
But like anything, does forbidding something or making it more unattainable make it more alluring? I wonder this with dread, and hope that these women aren’t threatened by men waiting outside the doors of these trains or by men-cum-women in costume on board.
Thanks for giving us women readers a moment to dream, Molly. Let me know if you ever have a women-only gathering some place in the middle of nowhere!
what a gift to have a government take action on behalf of their women. it’s almost shocking.
but wouldn’t it be nice if men were raised in a world where that behavior was completely unacceptable. or if that’s too much to ask wouldn’t it be nice if all of them (not just a select few) chose not to participate in the perpetual objectification and oppression of women?
i’m for keeping the separate cars and then starting the revolution that’s needed to do away with them.
Kaya, Yes I remember that train car… Ooo la… and love that you bounced around.
Cristina, Sorry to hear about your NYC subway experiences. Packed spaces are notorious for vanished boundaries. Sadly it seems so common.
Sam, Thank you for being honest about how you feel and dress and navigate this issue. Wow. Though, I definitely feel that we are not in a post-feminist era… never will be, because reminding is crucial and creating new patterns can take eons.
Lauren, well said: “I’m for keeping the separate cars and then starting the revolution that’s needed to do away with them.”
And, glad to say that I know many men who choose not to participate in the objectifying of women, so…. it’s happening.
i like trains.
a year or two ago i stepped onto a train in Japan. it was rush hour. i had a pack. i was in a hurry. it was awkward. as it pulled away from the landing i took stock of my surroundings. i became aware of some aggressive, resentful stares directed at me; surprising, as Japan is typically a place where foreigners are welcomed. i then noticed the small english sign (below the gigantic sign in Hirigana) stating “WOMEN ONLY”.
what followed was 35 minutes of anguish as i tried to avoid all physical contact (in a packed commuter train at 8 am heading into Central Osaka), pointedly ignoring as much animosity as possible.
it was with relief that i disembarked. i was the minority, in race and sex. i was vilified due to ignorance and unfamiliarity.
not all men are nasty. not all women are nice.
Tim,
Hellooo to you in the southern hemisphere and thank you for this story! It certainly flips the perspective, … so good. And agreed. I know some nasty women; I know some lamb-like men. Though women certainly have the capacity to ostracize someone (like they did to innocent you–brutal!), they don’t often go around groping men. Or at least they aren’t know for doing this as a collective. Violation for violation, I’d say the difference between mean stares and physical touch is fairly extreme, yes? But I love this story and can imagine you in it. Thank you for sharing. I was waiting for a man to chime in.