Comments on: Punch-for-Punch: Whitehill’s Law of Constant Distances

By: Beauty in a Wicked World: As-Yet Unnamed Theory at Crucial Minutiae - it’s the little things…

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 14:53:39 +0000

[...] And it’s gotten me thinking, once again, about the way beauty and wickedness intersect in human behavior. I’m not a mathematician, so I can’t work up an official calculation or formula for this theory. (Perhaps Ethan might be able to?) [...]

By: Laird Whitehill

Laird Whitehill — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 17:31:29 +0000

Ok, Ethan, I think you nailed it. I appreciate the consideration and publicity you have given to my childish observation which, even then, back when I was in college, I dubbed “Whitehill’s law of constant distances.”

The observation came about because there were only two kinds of relationships that I participated in: those wherein I drove girls into headlong flight, and those in which I took off as fast as I could.

I remember this one date I had in graduate school with this absolutely breathtaking girl. Long brown hair down to her waist, tall, shapely, fantastic face and teeth etc. I tried, immediately, to execute the ‘false push’…(nice word for the concept, Ethan). I was sooo nasty and deprecating from beginning to end.

Later, when I called her for a second date, she spat out that I was clearly the meanest person she had ever met, and, no, she wasnt interested. I tried to explain what I had been doing, but you can imagine how lame that started to sound as I said it. I still cringe, thinking about it. The false push, as you point out, engenders many romantic comedies, but you forgot to mention the romantic tragedies as well.

By: Felice Belle

Felice Belle — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 23:53:27 +0000

This is absolutely brilliant! (And in some small way, for better or worse, the story of my life). You do realize, based on this theory alone, you could give Dr. Phil a run for his money.

What I need now is a link that on the blog that will let me email this to every friend I have. I suppose I could just use email. But a link would be awesome.

By: Ethan Todras-Whitehill

Ethan Todras-Whitehill — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 19:30:15 +0000

It’s a pushme-pullyu. One of Doolittle’s pets. And the movie has nothing to do with Dr. Doolittle. Except it’s about a guy who talks to pets.

By: Jennifer Gandin Le

Jennifer Gandin Le — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 16:22:04 +0000

I haven’t even seen the movie(s)!

By: Ethan Todras-Whitehill

Ethan Todras-Whitehill — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 15:06:04 +0000

Jennifer, didn’t you ever read Dr. Doolittle?

By: Jennifer Gandin Le

Jennifer Gandin Le — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 14:13:12 +0000

Okay, that two-headed deer thing is freaking me out. I actually can’t read beyond that point because it? they? stare out at me so terrifyingly. SCARY.

By: Ethan Todras-Whitehill

Ethan Todras-Whitehill — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 04:06:18 +0000

That reminds me of one of my favorite math problems. Integral of e to the x equals f of u sub n. I actually got my high school calculus teacher to write that one on the chalkboard in class and stare at it for a good 20 seconds.

By: Courtney E. Martin

Courtney E. Martin — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 23:34:59 +0000

Damn it Ethan! You’ve revealed one of my favorite secret weapons–the false push. At least my life plan and schedule are so non-relationship oriented that my CD is kept in constant alignment. Or something.
U+ME=L(ove) to the negative enth power. That’s my kind of sexy math.

By: Kate Torgovnick

Kate Torgovnick — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 18:01:25 +0000

Ha ha—it’s amazing that you made diagrams to go along with this post.

But I’m totally calling you out on the “more comfortable with girls” thing. (By the way, we’re actually called women now.) I remember hearing you give a whole schpiel at our first writing group meeting (where it was 90% women) about how you’re use to being the only guy and like being in groups of women. And then just a few months later you were like, “Can we recruit some guys?” Which I’m glad you did cause Florian, Joshua, Theo, and Daniel are pretty much the bomb.