Yes, I believe that’s true for women. And I don’t begrudge them that objectification one bit. I would like to be clear, though: I didn’t look so bad in a bathing suit. And neither did Trent or Matt. I think it was our unwillingness to completely objectify them as they were objectifying us that led to the failure. As I said, we would actually get to dance with some girls, but as soon as we got off the “asshole” track they lost interest. No joke.

But I guess the question remains of how healthy this is for either gender. Is it a simple expression of sexual desire finding a suitable outlet? Or is it acting out gender archetypes in order to gain approval of the opposite sex and one’s peers?

Young women seem to no longer feel that they need to couch the desire for sex in the guise of wanting a relationship. Femailes have, I believe, gone from needing to deny sexual needs to being able to compartimentalize and seek sexual conquests and thrills just as men have historically done. The guy who is attractive in that context will be, I imagine, the one who looks as great in his Speedo as the woman in her ‘floss bathing suit’.

I would conjecture that what women look for when seeking a long term relationship is somewhat different from what they would be attracted to on a beach over spring break. Culturally we don’t seem to have had any problem with the dichotomization by men, of women into ‘Madonnas” and ‘Whores”, or the woman you ‘bed’ and the woman you ‘marry’, so why should we not have a commensurate bifurcation in women?

Looking forward to your ‘generational’ response.

It’s tough to balance the obsession with catching the eye of a hot stranger and at the bottom being respectful, polite, and interested in the other person (beyond the Cancun floss bathing suit). Next post: Hamlet?

“I wasn’t Alcibiades, and never could be. The women that wanted Alcibiades, they wouldn’t want me.”

It touches the heart of the personal side of this issue beautifully.

As for the theory here, it echoes the balancing act that we all have to do, between the “feminine” and “masculine” energies (yin/yang, anima/animus, yoni/lingham, etc.). This balance shifts in different cultures, and throughout history. It’s cool to read your experience on this wild ride.

“The next time a girl tells me a guy’s body doesn’t matter, I’m going to pull down my pants and poop on her head.”

The extreme always seems to make an impression.