Crucial Minutiae

My best friend J lives in Paris. We Skype once a week. Email in-between. And try to stay as involved in each other’s lives as possible.

When I told her I was having dinner with my ex, I could hear her eyes rolling over the phone. “Nobody wants to see that movie again,” she said.

She was right.

It’s a disaster film.

Like Cloverfield on crack.

We all know how it ends.

But some movies are worth watching over and over again, no?

I never get tired of the last lift in Dirty Dancing and Purple Rain Prince humping the piano during “Darling Nikki” is pure movie gold.

Conversely, John Waters’ original Hairspray should never have been touched by the likes of Zac Efron (who was recently tapped to play the Kevin Bacon role in a remake of Footloose). And The Hulk (any of the Hulk movies as far as I’m concerned) deserves to be body slammed by Lou Ferrigno in green body paint.

Of course, on rare occasions, it is possible for a remake to outshine the original (see: Luther Vandross’ version of Burt Bacharach’s “A House is Not A Home,” The Thomas Crown Affair (1999), et al.). But this is not the norm.

Needless to say, I was shocked and dismayed upon discovering that Hollywood has gotten it’s grubby little hands on The Last Dragon. The eighties cult classic — Bruce Leroy! Sho-nuff!! The Glow!!!

Enough is enough, people. Step away from my movie.

Taimak is perfection. And as much as I love me some Samuel L. Jackson, there’s no way he makes a bigger and/or badder mofo than the late great Julius Carry.

Sometimes what defines a classic is the fact that it can’t be replicated.

As J predicted, the aftermath of my dinner was death, destruction and decimated wasteland.

My advice moving forward: Make a new movie.

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 2nd, 2008 at 11:37 am and is filed under Movies, Pop Culture, Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.