The California Supreme Court just overturned a ban on gay marriage, paving the way for California to become the second state to legalize same sex marriage.
My first reaction–great news! It’s always wonderful to see civil rights being extended to more and more Americans.
My second reaction–I hope that this doesn’t prompt hysterical backlash. You know, the same ol’ calls for Constitutional bans and pulpit-promises of damnation. Unfortunately, this being a political year and all, we’ll probably be subjected to more “debate” on the subject.
Luckily, these “debates” can’t last forever. As I wrote in a previous column,we have a whole generation of kidz today who are growing up in a world where it’s ok to be gay.**
But who knew that many teachers and principals are leading the way?
I recently spent a lovely afternoon with Michael Soet, the principal of the International High School at Lafayette, who told me about his experiences coming out to his students (with the support of the NYC Board of Education no less!). What struck him most about the experience was how well the kidz handled it, especially because many of them come from countries where they “don’t have gay people.”
According to Mr. Michael, instead of being grossed out or offended, the students just had a lot of questions, like “What did your parents say?” or “When you meet men, how do you know if they’re also gay?”
He answered most questions by comparing his experience to theirs, saying things like “As a straight person, how do you know if someone is interested in you? You make eye contact or smile, right? It’s the same thing for me.”
When I was in high school, no one ever talked to us like that, like we were adults.
Guess what happened to Mr. Michael after he had the big “coming out” convo? NOTHING. He didn’t get beaten up, no one made snide remarks, and no one complained to the school board. In fact, he was really surprised by how quickly things went back to normal.
It kind of reminded me of living in Massachusetts when they legalized gay marriage. The first couple got married at midnight in the Cambridge City Hall, which was a few blocks from where I was living at the time. Crowds gathered for the event and danced in the street. That evening was a wonderful celebration of civil rights.
You know what happened the next day?
The sun rose, people went to work, things went on as usual.
That’s the thing about civil rights–they’re not like a limited edition Birkin bag or a gallon of gas. There’s enough to go around for everyone.
**note: I’m not saying that prejudice against LGBT individuals no longer exists. Of course it does. However, there’s no denying that we’ve made remarkable progress in the past 10 years.
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Kidz Today is a column about youth and education by Joie Jager-Hyman. It usually appears on Wednesdays or every other Wednesday. Sometimes, like today, it appears on Thursday. If you watch closely, you’ll see it–I promise.