I’ve heard from my ex-pat and non-American friends that much of the rest of the world thinks that America is a place of extremes. We’re depicted as either obese, SUV-driving warmongers or tanorexic, Hollywood-types jogging over to the Scientology Center. 
Obviously, these are simplistic caricatures of American culture–but you have to admit that we do tend towards the black or white.
George “axis of evil” Bush gave us villains like Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein and Dick Cheney. It was only a matter or time before a (feminist) superhero like President Obama would come and save us.
Even so, he can’t do it alone. The greatest man ever seems to recognize greatness in someone else–Marian Robinson, aka the “first granny,” who will be bunking in the White House with Sasha, Malia and the gang. As someone who spent a lot of time with grandparents growing up, I really admire the Obamas’ ability to recognize granny greatness.
It’s no secret that families have become more mobile and fractured over the years. Most of us have moved away from the idea of having three generations under one roof. Under this paradigm, the elderly are often segregated to assisted living centers or retirement communities.
In fact, the divide between youth and old age has become so substantial that educators are introducing aging simulation exercises.
Aging simulation activities are designed to help students empathize with the elderly and understand the process of aging. They wear swimming goggles to experience “fuzzy eyesight” and cover their ears with headphones to feel partial hearing loss. There are also activities to simulate difficulties with feeling and touch, loss of color vision and loss of agility and flexibility.
If we are lucky, we will all get old, so it’s probably useful to get a sense of what it is like to age.
Aging simulation activities are also designed to teach children that our elderly family members, friends and neighbors need some help in navigating a world that is not designed with them in mind.
But, as the Obamas understand, it goes both ways. We need our grandparents and grand-friends just as much as they need us. We have older generations to thank for the opportunities and freedoms we enjoy. They are our role models and our teachers, passing on wisdom and values that are worth preserving.
I have so many fond memories of growing up with my grandparents. And I know that when I have children, I definitely want them to have the same advantages and be close to their grandparents.
Hey, if it’s good enough for Sasha and Malia…
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Kidz Today is a column about youth and education by Joie Jager-Hyman.
As someone who was raised in a three-generation household, I absolutely applaud the Obama’s decision. It is so easy to lose sight of and/or ignore the changes that we are constantly undergoing as we move through our lives. Exposure to and meaningful relationships with people of all ages help us view, measure, and understand that we are all always in the process of growing and becoming. It also provides a pathway to embrace the life cycle; when my maternal grandfather recently passed away at home, as unexpected as it was and as much as my family misses him each day, we were so happy that he was able to be with family right up until his death. But it isn’t just about death, living with my paternal Irish Catholic grandmother as part of our household when I was in high school taught me a lot about how to enjoy life (without getting caught).
I grew up with my grandmother living with us – or rather we lived with her. It was a wonderful experience. There are few relationships as pure as that of grandparent and grandchild. Without the pressure or reponsibility of earning a living and raising a family the grandparent can just spend their time loving and nurturing the child. It was also my reponsibility to visit every old great aunt that I had in the neighborhood – some were really doozies – but now that I look back I wouldn’t have changed that for anything. Knowing them all made me who I am and my life far richer than it would have been without those memories – both the good and the bad. But then we discovered Florida, Arizona, California, mobility and jet planes – the core family spread across the land. I admire the cultures where this is not the case – intergenerational closeness can not flurish when we only see each other on school breaks.
I was lucky to grow up with my grandparents around a fair amount, but it wasn’t till I was older that I feel like I really got to know them in a deeper and more meaningful way.
I think its great that there will be a first granny in the White House. Looks like Obama is the “family values” president. Great Post!
I love hearing about other people’s experiences growing up with grandparents or getting to know them as adults. Thanks for all these comments, everyone!
Let me start by saying i am completely enamored of our new First Family — is this Camelot v2.0? Something about seeing the four, soon to be five, of them together warms my heart unexpectedly. Suddenly I’m a sucker for wholesomeness: Look how beautiful they are dancing together…Look how well-behaved Sasha and Malia are…Look how much they all love their granny! This outpouring of emotion has caught me completely by surprise!
I was just talking the other day about grandparents, comparing with some friends which of us grew up close to our grandparents and which didn’t. I count myself among the lucky ones to have been raised close to all 4 grandparents, and today at 32 I am even luckier to have 2 left. The impact and influence they have had on my life is tremendous; I probably can’t even appreciate how much.
One New Year’s Resolution of mine: send my grandma a card at least once a month. Though she is in Florida and I am in Spain, she is always close to my heart and I want to tell her often.
thanks for this post joie!
Mike- I think your New Year’s Resolution is a great one! Grandmas love cards (at lease mine does!).
Joie- I enjoyed your post!
For anyone who is interested in learning more about the First Granny, here’s a link to a short, interesting video from the Boston Globe: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/12/will-first-granny-marian_n_143359.html
Here’s to you Mrs. Robinson indeed. She has already hit a home run with Michelle. Just think what she will do with the girls – and hopefully with us!
Because my parents were immigrants, I never had the opportunity to live with or near my grandparents in Japan except for when we would visit them every other summer. I never thought much about it growing up, and the cultural and social capital that came from spanning different countries thanks to my parents’ mobility has greatly benefited me to this day.
It was, however, after becoming a parent that I realized the importance of living with or near grandparents. Forced to evacuate out of our home in New Orleans because of Hurricane Katrina and then the subsequent flooding due to the breaking of the levees, we lived with my in-laws in New York for three months and my then 9 month old son had the benefit of growing up among different adult models who loved and cared about him. It became so clear to me that the experience children have, living with so many different family members, is so much richer than living isolated with just the parents.
Now that we have moved closer to them, our kids have the fortune of being near grandma and granddad and uncles and aunt all the time. I know they don’t realize how lucky they are (yet), but it doesn’t really matter. I know that makes ME lucky, as I continue to learn from my family around me.
Thank you Joie for the post and thank you First Family for treasuring the important things in life!